Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Do handsome guys intimidate women or people in general?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Is having white skin really that attractive?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How do you feel about the impending end of what Donald Trump calls "the Green New scam"?

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When British people write X after everything, are they being serious or trying not to be awkward?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Have you had any paranormal activity situations happen personally to you or someone you know?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Summer McIntosh Posts 4:23.65 400 IM to Break Her Own World Record - SwimSwam

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Do you think Christine Lagarde will be headed and will be heading for success in the next French presidential elections starting as soon as 2027?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have a reading level above third grade

I actually pay taxes

What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

Do people really never face any hidden costs or surprises with surgeries in countries with single-payer healthcare like the NHS?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How is it not psychopathic to use someone for sex, even if they agree?

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write